To die, to sleep, to dream.

I love to sleep. If being dead is like sleeping, that is for me! It's the most perfect time of my day when no one is bothering me and I am lying down. I like to think my dream world is reality and reality is just a dream. This cheers me up.

Dreams make no sense. When ever I have a cool dream, I try to tell someone. Then I realize that the story makes no sense and there are a lot of unexplainable gaps which I fill up with lies. I plagiarize at least 59 percent of all my dreams.

I wonder how much of MLK's 'I have a dream speech' was made up? Did he omit the parts with Lincoln thinking it was too cliche? Where there other parts of the dream that he didn't mention because he didn't have a good seagway? It could have been embarrassing if he said, "In another part of that dream I saw a bright future. But in between that, Uhura from Star Trek made me some eggs, and I was dressed as Spock. I can't really explain that part. You know how dreams don't always make sense. No really people. I am not making this up."

Pleasant dreams.

OMIL continues

Sometimes I like to ponder how my life could get any better. Maybe if I hit it rich and had millions of dollars. If I have all that money I would then spend all my energy on helping the poor and starving people of the world.
But I'm not, so screw em. I sleep on a mat in my parents living room floor.

Stem cell research is big in the news. Outside at a Rams football game a very pretty woman came up to and handed me a pamphlet against stem cell research. I told her to put it away. I said, "Oh I am all for cloning." She politely smiled and asked why. I said, "How many times have you heard people say, 'That Jim is a great guy. If there were more people like him, the world would be better place. ' Well now there can be!" She asked me who was this Jim.

309 days till Christmas. I can't wait!

So far so good.

I started out as a winner. We all did. When it came time to win a race I out lasted the others. I am talking about the race to fertilize my mothers egg which eventually became me! The sad part was that I had to beat a million of my brothers and sisters. Alas, they can not enjoy the fruits of Oh My Incredible Life. If it makes them feel any better, I can't swim now, so if I ever drown they will get the last laugh.

If the world were to explode now, my life would have been twice as incredible. Why? Well I didn't waste it saving money or paying into a 401k. I have lived it to the fullest. Give us your worse Osama bin laden. You're only making my financially secure friends look like a fool.

Good news for you! Oh My Incredible Life is now Oh My Incredible Life the blog! I hope you don't get upset when you compare your life to mine. When I compare my life to say, Mel Gibson, I don't say, "Why can't I be a movie star?" No, I am just thankful I didn't have to sit through "Apocalypto" more then once. So cheer up! If it makes you feel better, I'm so ugly it makes me look cute. Like a baby fly.